Cadmen Counseling
by Cpt. Ritter
Summary: What happens when Cadmen opens a counseling service? Sheyla pairing.


_A/N: Gotta thank Witchblade on the Gateworld forums for giving me this crazy idea._

John was walking out of the cafeteria when he saw the notice. It was in big bold letters. "Cadman's Counseling Service, relationship advice." He laughed at the thought of Cadman giving relationship advice. Then he noticed the small notice at the bottom in small print. "Free service for John Sheppard and Teyla Emmagen."

Tilting his head slightly, John stared bewildered at the document. _How could she know how I feel?_ He thought to himself. _I don't even know how I feel!_ He turned to head back to his quarters.

But as he walked the hallways, he found himself wondering more and more about how Cadman had basically offered her advice. Wincing to himself, he stopped and headed straight for the infirmary. He figured, what better way to find out what Cadman was up to, than to ask her boyfriend, a certain Scottish doctor.

He arrived to a mostly empty infirmary. Only a handful of nurses were working. He ducked past all of them and poked his head into Carson's office. Carson was there, sitting behind his computer, typing up a report.

"What can I do for you, Colonel?" He asked cheerfully.

"You can tell me what Cadman's up to." John replied pointedly.

"Sorry laddie, even I don't know what Laura's up to. She's practically lived with Kate these last few days."

John's eyebrows scrunched together. "Why'd she do that?"

"I don't honestly know. She said I was on a need to know basis." Carson gave John a warm smile. "But she can't possibly be up to no good."

"I'm more skeptical about it."

"Give her a chance Colonel. She knows what she's doing."

John raised an eyebrow. Clearly, Carson knew more than he was letting on. John decided not to press this issue. He spun on his heals and walked back out of the infirmary, as bewildered as before.

He decided it wouldn't hurt to at least find out what Cadman was trying to do. He hopped into the nearest transporter and took it down to the new marine quarters. He stopped at the third room down the hall, Cadman's. He hit the ring button on the wall.

The door opened quickly, after some shuffling and a muffle curse. Cadman practically jumped when she saw him. "Colonel sir." Cadman snapped off an automatic salute.

John raised an eyebrow. "Got something you wanted to tell me Lieutenant. Something about relationship advice."

Cadman smiled wickedly, which could only mean trouble. "Of course. I just finished talking with Teyla."

"Really?" John was genuinely curious. "She say anything."

"We're here to talk about you." Cadman motioned for him to have a seat on the stool in the corner of the room. She sat in a comfy arm chair. "Anything you want to confess now."

John leaned back a little. "Confess what?"

"Oh, I don't know, anything you want to get off your chest." Cadman was circling around the point.

John wasn't interested in wasting time. "Anything specific Cadman?"

Cadman shot to her feet. "So that's how you want to play." She stepped closed to him, standing straight up. "Do you, or do you not have a massive crush on Teyla?"

"Well I..." John was completely unprepared.

"It isn't going to take you getting stuck in Weir's body and facing possible death to admit it, is it?"

John shuddered at the thought, remember keenly what Cadman was referring to. "I don't think I'm going to answer that question."

"I think you should." Cadman was way too close for comfort.

John started to squirm under the pressure, coming here had been a very, very bad idea. "Lieutenant, back off."

"Tell me that when you kissed her it wasn't an accident."  
"How did you..."

"Tell me that you honestly want her with every fiber of your being; that your heart rate increases whenever you make eye contact with her; that you can't stand the thought of her getting closer to Ronon; that you..."

"Alright!" John yelled. "Yeah, I do." He admitted meekly.

Cadman back down. "Good. Now go tell her that." She pointed out the door.

John saw escape was in sight, all he had to do was get one blond marine out of his way.

"And you'd better do what I said, otherwise I'll tell her. I don't think she'd appreciate it."  
John swore. "Blackmail."

"Buck up sir." Cadman grinned fiercely as he stepped out of her quarters.

There was no going back now.


End file.
